Ejaculation Control – Take Your Sex Life to Another Level

f782db75d866f1a127e689baba0eddb6We can all agree that it feels amazing to ejaculate and orgasm. But unless you commit to moving beyond the intense desire to release as soon as the feeling hits you, you will never get to a place of deeper sexual connection and exploration.

“I just can’t. It’s too difficult. It feels too good. I have tried everything! “

When you are just starting out sexually exploring, the overwhelming feelings of ejaculating can take over and controlling release can be difficult. Your body is adjusting to the mad rush of energy to your penis and releasing often is necessary. As you gain some experience and begin to connect to the sensations of your body, the desire to prolong the sexual event increases.

Many men who succumb too quickly to the final pleasure of release start to believe that they have an ejaculation “problem” or “issue”. Not the case. Everyone has to learn and practise how to prolong ejaculation.

Controlling the timing of your release takes commitment. There is no instant method that is going to suddenly make you the passionate lover who can last forever.

You have to want to control it and decide without a doubt that this is what you are going to accomplish.

It will take committing to working with your cock like never before. It will require having sex for longer periods of time. It will take practising being intimate with another in a more energy based way. The work is tough and rigorous, I know.

This means that when you are with a partner, “you” are going to take control of the situation, not your cock.

No matter how good it feels, how much you want to release, you are going to do whatever it takes to hold back: pull out; hold still; roll over; jump out of the bed and run around; whatever it takes.

Look at it like embarking on a journey as similar to saying “I want to get in shape”.

In order to begin the process of getting in shape, you have to be mentally prepared and committed.

You go to the gym, or decide on a certain activity. You get the proper gear. You show up and you devote time, energy and patience to working out. Maybe you hire a personal trainer to keep you on track. You may change your diet, eat less junk food or decide to get more rest so that you can perform better. Step by step you start to feel better. You start to lose weight and gain muscle as your body begins to change shape. Some days it is very difficult and almost painful. You wonder why it is taking so long! Your mind and body cry out for you to stop! This is when you realize that this is not an overnight event; this is a committed lifetime journey.

It is the same for controlling ejaculation.

Commitment leads you to the growth and expansion of your sexual life.

This commitment never ends; it will just keep getting better, stronger, more explosive and more empowering.

Is ejaculation control the only way to enhance your sex life? If you are not penetrating a woman for at least an hour, than YES!

Here is why.

  1. To build sexual energy in your body, prolonging ejaculation is the key element.
  2. Holding off from cumming puts you in a state of sexual aliveness where you can then learn to spread your cock energy throughout your body to access desire, passion and deeper levels of intimacy.
  3. There is nothing healthier than or as pleasurable for your mind, body and soul as engaging in longer sexual exploratory activity with another.
  4. For partners who are longer term, sex has to continue to change and expand -for both of you. And for this expansion to occur, you need to work on keeping an erection without cumming.
  5. For your biological female partner to reach multi levels of orgasm, she requires to be stimulated through intercourse with an erect penis for longer – at least 30-40 minutes of internal stimulation.
  6. As you gain control, you gain confidence and self-esteem. You get in better shape because you soon realize that in order to keep that erection and in order to have sex for a prolonged period of time, you need to be fit. (This kind of play is rigorous at times.) It takes muscle, stamina and strength.
  7. Along with all the amazing benefits, your sexuality will begin to grow and expand beyond the rudimentary ways of sexual expression.

If you are the partner of someone who needs to commit to control, let it be known to them that you support them fully. Tell them clearly that it is time to begin the process of ejaculation management.
Tell them you will support them in holding off as long as possible no matter what they have to do.

If you are the ejaculate person, tell your partner you are exercising ejaculation management and that you are committed to doing what it takes. This is about getting to a point of more pleasure for both of you.

Once you commit, understand that this is going to take some time and patience. If you are presently lasting for 5 minutes upon penetration and the next time you have intercourse you last for 8, then congratulate yourself.

Just like getting in shape, there will be up and downs. That is all part of the process. Learn from what each experience feels like and be determined that each new event will be a new understanding. As you become more efficient and you begin to know and feel how to ride the edge of your ejaculation, you may also begin to experience orgasms without ejaculating.

As you make your way through the mind over matter leap, here are some key practises to assist you with the process.

Breathing
Be conscious of whether you are breathing or not during sex. The breath is the circulation of energy in your body. As that cock of yours stores up sexual energy from the erection and the desire to cum, you will notice that your breathe gets shorter and choppier. This is when you need to take a number of deep breathes, pulling that energy from your cock to spread it around the rest of your body.

Breathing technique:
Inhale through your nose expanding the air into your abdomen and pelvis, shoulders remaining still.
Release the breath out your open mouth, visualizing the breathe going up your back and over your head.
Create a circular motion of the air going down as you breathe in and up your back as you breathe out.
Do this slowly, focusing on slowing the breath.

With this breath you are circulating your sexual energy throughout your body away from the pressure in your cock. Your penis will calm down, your body begins to relax and the need to ejaculate lessens. You can then continue to penetrate your partner until you are feeling intense desire to release again. Stop, breathe, circulate the energy. Repeat.

Being conscious of your breathing also keeps you present to the moment where you can fully embrace the desire you have for your partner.

Practise this breathe when you are not having sex so that when you are, you can access it easily.

Use your cock energy to access your desire.

Start with being conscious of your breathing. As you take some breathes, as I describe above, and begin to spread the cock energy all over your body. Allow yourself to really feel the sensations of your body. Now use that cock energy in everything you do – in kissing, in hugging, in your touch, in your words. Touch her skin gently observing how your breath moves from your body to hers. Your partner wants to feel desired and in order to do this you want to breathe your cock energy into them from every pour of your being.

Go slowly, and I mean s l o w m o t i o n.    

As for many people it is upon penetration that the sensation to ejaculate is heightened. There is no rush to penetrate. Enjoy your sexual experience by going slower than you have ever gone before. You need time to get use to your erection lasting longer even before penetration. You need time to allow for connecting to your erection, letting it relax and then building up again. Spend at the minimum 30-45 minutes in foreplay, kissing, touching, smelling, licking, exploring each other’s bodies, building heat in the connection.

When you are ready to penetrate, go slowly!

Start with touching their genitals with yours, holding it there, breathing, feeling the sensations of being in close proximity. Upon entering the vagina only insert a little and again hold it there for as long as you need to relax into the intense sensation. Insert one centimetre at a time. If it gets too intense, then stop moving and breathe. If the sensation is too strong, pull out, lay back and breathe. When you are ready, continue to penetrate slowly until you are deep inside and holding. Do not move until you are in control.

If you do not know what turns you on beside the thought of fucking your partner, then slowing down helps to discover this. Breathe and explore their body until something comes up for you that excites you. Maybe it’s their smell or the feeling of the back of their neck or their pretty little toes, but you need to take the time to explore and connect.

Your partner will be more than appreciative of your dedication to your practise.

This is a summary of some practise techniques to help you in taking charge of your sex life. If you can start by being vigilant in committing, you will find that you begin to create all sorts of ways to control yourself that are unique to you.

It is going to be the greatest gift you have ever given yourself, and all your sexual partners.

 

 

JOIN MY SEX ED FOR MEN TO LEARN MORE!
Four sessions over four weeks in November 2016

COCK ENERGY – Harder, Stronger, Longer
Controlling your ejaculation for deeper sexual exploration.

 

*If you can’t be in Vancouver at that time, then sign up for my newsletter to receive news about the upcoming online course!

 

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