I am in the state of Cocooning. A recent amazing and loving connection I made with the brilliant Den Temin reconfirmed for me that right now I need to allow myself to be in the state of Cocooning.
“Cocoon! Cocoon!”, she exclaims with bright eyes and benevolent knowing.
“You will emerge more brilliant then ever, but right now you must COCOON!”
There is nothing to hide. What is happening to me is not uncommon. I do want to share because it is all consuming and comes up in everything I do and with everyone I meet. It is also an experience of profound learning and understanding about myself and the complexities of human relationships.
I have been in deep pain over the past number of months unravelling from an all consuming connection. The love of my life, my soul mate, my other half and I have decided to separate from one another for an indeterminate amount of time. With this man I had some of the most incredible years of my life.
I look at my time with him as extremely successful, intensely loving and incredibly exploratory. We held and loved each other, we challenged each other, we shifted into one ball of intense powerful energy transforming and creating unbelievable events and experiences for ourselves. Most importantly we found each other again. Through our 23 years together we discovered that we are connected through many lifetimes, weaving in and out through experiences and journeys. Many times over the years in this lifetime we touched these multi-dimensional connections, strongly aware that this too was a journey, one that would also have to come to an end at some point.
A relationship must change in order for the participants to continue to grow. I have always moved forward in ways that often the reasons for the change are unfamiliar to me. All I can do is trust that this is the way, that this is leading me to where I need to go right now.
Yes I am terrified. Yes I suffer over the break-up and loss of someone I love. But I cannot stop this roller coast ride. This is the direction I must go. One thing I do know is that I have a choice to move forward kicking and screaming, which I do some days, or I can surrender to what is happening, allow for healing and move forward in a brave, mindful, loving way.
It has only been 4 months and I know it will take much more time to truly heal from a state of being wrapped in his powerful energy to creating a very new and different existence, but the journey will and already has taken me to places I would have never imagined, full of amazing exploration and profound understanding about myself.
I have such deep gratitude and love for all you incredible people who are here for me, supporting me, listening to me, hugging me, accepting me and understanding me. I know some of you have been in the separation transition before. Your renewed energy helps me to move towards a healing heart and life of continuous loving light.