Intimate Partners Who Have Different Sexual Desire

12One partner (Lori) is not highly interested in sex. Lori is happy to have sex once a month or less. Lori feels content with this situation.

There is nothing wrong with wanting your sex life this way and operating in a relationship with having sex once a month. But what if the other partner (Jess) wants something different?

Jess wants to have sex much more often. Jess has desires that are stronger and would like to sexually explore weekly, even daily.

How do you accommodate this in a relationship?
Can you accommodate this in a relationship?

The sexual default does not have to fall to having very little sex.

There are many couples who have opened their conversation about their sex lives.

Lori and Jess realized that Jess was not satisfied and was feeling a high level of frustration. Lori and Jess love each other very much and want to stay together in the relationship. They decided to reveal their desires to each other. Jess is willing to accept that Lori only wants sex once a month. Lori also wants to accept that Jess requires sex more often.

So then what do you do?

Once they have opened the conversation and presented their true desires, they can then work on how to accommodate both needs.

In this case, Jess needs to find a way to feel fulfilled sexually. Together they can now explore options. This also means discussing how this will be in a new kind of relationship they are going to create.

Nonmonogamy will now be on the table.
Exploration outside the relationship will now be on the table.
Bringing others into their lives will be on the table.

This can be tricky to navigate if all this seems very new and scary. Working with someone who understands can be highly beneficial.

Looking outside the relationship box is a specialty of mine. There are many options available. We do not have to be limited to “Monogamous, Heterosexual, Long-term” relationships.

Lori and Jess do not have to rush through this process. They can move into this change one step at a time.

The ultimate goal is to find a place of acceptance for what both Lori and Jess desire while maintaining their intimate relationship.


Go to Sexless Marriage – Two Sides to the Story


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